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My Fat Story (part 3)…sort of

March 1, 2012

I’ve been struggling with Part 3. This whole thing started based on a conversation with my sister about food and how we treat our bodies. I sat down to write only about that conversation. It seemed appropriate to include a little of my own history and it ran away from me, hence the birth of My Fat Story. I wrote part one in about an hour, part two took a little longer. I didn’t give any consideration to what would happen when I got to part three.

Nothing was coming out right and trust me I tried.  I began at the beginning, middle, and end. I approached it sideways and backwards with one eye closed but came up empty every time. It wasn’t because I had nothing to say, just the opposite. The last few years have been the most challenging I’ve had. It would be impossible to continue my fat story without addressing those experiences, which I’m still working through and am just not ready to share on the internet. I would be doing a disservice to myself and anyone who read it to leave anything out.

I write because I want to connect. I read for the same reason. I hope that by one day sharing my story in full I can help someone to feel a little less alone in their struggles or even more positive. I hope I can make someone smile. I just need to do it right. I’m crossing my fingers that you all understand.

 

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. Laura permalink
    March 1, 2012 6:14 pm

    You should write a book.

  2. Kimberly permalink
    March 1, 2012 6:21 pm

    This post is beautiful. I believe that as humans we all desire happiness and to connect on some level. We are all the same no matter who we are–we all are striving to be understood. Thank you for sharing with openness your story. I know that you are making a difference for many. You are an inspiring individual and awake to the issues of humanity. Sending you peace and smiles today!

  3. March 1, 2012 6:28 pm

    we do. sending you a virtual hug.

  4. Mette permalink
    March 1, 2012 6:34 pm

    Well, I’m disappointed and impressed all at the same time. I’ve been anticipating part 3 because I have been using your story for inspiration and motivation the past few weeks and it has been helping me so much with some stuff I need to do right now in my life.
    But I think it’s awesome that you want to take your time and that you’ll only do it in a way that feels right to you – that will no doubt make it a better read as well. And I hope I get to read it some day.
    I’ve read both part 1 and 2 several times and they make me smile, so if I count as “someone” – then mission accomplished… And they are helping me every day right now.
    I don’t mean to sound so corny – I’m so not a corny person, but it really is helping me, so thank you.

  5. March 1, 2012 7:14 pm

    mission accomplished 🙂

  6. March 1, 2012 8:54 pm

    While I totally enjoyed the first two installments, I can also appreciate your position on the third.

    When I was tutoring undergrads, an adjunct planned an entire semester (15 weeks) to explore each student’s experience/relationship with food.

    At first I thought it was kind of weird/easy. But I think that’s a big part of why she chose the topic: everyone has a relationship with food.

    And the more I worked with her students, the more I realized it is a fascinating idea: individual relationships to food. Because. I have a relationship to food, also. And mine is different from anyone else’s.

    I’ve always been very skinny. And sure, it’s probably “lucky” for me. But my whole life I’ve had to deal with people who love me telling me to “eat a sandwich,” and people I don’t even know asking if I’m healthy. I am, by the way. Almost always have been.

    My response has always been along the lines of an eye-roll. But. When I finally thought about it, those comments really have impacted my relationship with food. Along with my other experiences (growing up poor with a single-mother in Gary–yes, that Gary–for instance).

    Food obviously isn’t just about sustenance. It’s about family, control/power, class, self-image. It’s a lot. Huge topic. Not so easy as it seems.

    So I think what I appreciate most about this third installment of not-your-fat-story is that it seems that you’ve really hit the point where all of this can blow out; it’s understandably a daunting task.

    Thanks for sharing your story thus far; looking forward to more of your writing (whatever the topic)!

  7. G. Aiurea. permalink
    March 1, 2012 9:08 pm

    We already feel less alone and more positive! For sure!
    Thank you for sharing your story without never fail to humor. You’re making a difference for us reader around the world!
    The ongoing battle, good luck and peace and love forever! 😉
    PS: sorry for my bad English.

  8. @saracx85 permalink
    March 2, 2012 10:55 am

    Stream of consciousness!
    I like to read every line because it does not contain only words but feelings! and it’s beautiful!
    Thank You

  9. Nicole permalink
    March 3, 2012 3:50 am

    I understand about needing to go through a journey in your own time and space. In my life I am discovering that my body holds a lot of emotional stuff, both amazing and fearful from just being a person on a great, but sometimes lesson filled planet. Recently I am getting an initiation with my body being out of control by an illness, nothing permanent, but still a feeling of having to make friends with my body, emotions and way of living that causes me to ponder choices I’ve made and make daily. What I realize is how it must feel on any level to lose control of the ‘image’ we have of our bodies, our emotional relationship to it and how to love one’s self regardless of the condition of our body. I wish you a lot of luck on your journey and possibly some humor along the way to remind yourself not to take it all to seriously. When things look tough, remember ‘grace’ is a beautiful intention to call for whenever the path gets a little rocky.

    All the best~

  10. March 3, 2012 7:45 pm

    First of all, thank you for being so transparent with your story thus far and for honestly assessing that you are not at a place of peace to share those things that have greatly impacted you in recent years. It takes a lot of courage to take such an honest look at one’s life and proceed to share it with the world. It is refreshing to read your story and to share your struggles. I can certainly relate in more ways than one. I tend to have a difficult love affair with food. Food can either be my best friend or it can be my enemy depending upon the season that I am in.

    You have my utmost respect for taking your life and allowing others to share in your struggles. I know how hard that can be. Most of us tend to hide from the struggles of our lives or bury them in the darkest corners of our hearts. As a deeply private person, I am used to guarding my heart and my life from those around me unless a trust has been established. However, circumstances have changed for me and have presented unique opportunities to share my challenges and hurts with individuals who are going through difficult times. It seems as though you have been afforded a similar opportunity to reflect on your own experiences for the benefit and encouragement of others.

    The struggles of our life are necessary for building character and while they are about us in the moment, it is all for someone else down the road who is traveling the roads we have once taken. When it is all said and done, the entirety of your life story will have a profound impact on the lives of so many people far beyond anything that you can imagine. You are going to have some amazing fruitful season ahead of you as well as some additional difficult ones. Each will add a new flavor to your life. I wish you the best as you continue to move forward on your journey.

  11. actorsdiet permalink
    March 8, 2012 1:49 am

    clementine, i’d LOVE for you to do a guest post for my blog, “the actor’s diet” – it seems like we have a lot in common, not to mention we’re both repped by mark!!!

    • Clementine Ford permalink*
      March 8, 2012 4:29 am

      I would LOVE to do it! I’ve actually been a fan of your blog for a while! Shooting you an email later this evening! x

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