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Oh look. A wedding.

July 31, 2012

I’m wedding planning after much foot dragging due to guilt, guilt and a little more guilt. Technically I’ve done this before but I was in a different place and thirteen years younger! My priorities were different (read: out of whack). This time it is important to me that the day reflect us as people and not Martha Stewart Weddings. It is important to me that we not spend a huge amount of money on one day for both ย ethical and financial reasons. It is important to me that it not be a day of waste and consumerism. It is important to me that everyone be comfortable, relaxed, and have a good time. And I want it to be pretty.

These are my non-negotiables. This is what I went into the planning process with in my mind and then I saw the internet. For every Eastside Bride there are 20 websites like The Knot; for every Catbird there are 20 Tiffany stores in every state. What the fuck? Out of nowhere I was coveting a Monique Lhuillier dress and considering a five figure budget and artfully tossed burlap. Everything I saw was a carbon copy of what I’d been looking at moments before. Apparently that is now known as “rustic chic” and I hate to admit it but those words have come out of my mouth as well.

As soon as something has a catch phrase it should be out, at least in terms of something so personal as the day you enter into a binding legal agreement with another person. I happen to like mismatched jars and vases with single bright flowers in them. I happen to like glowy, warm light, but I don’t want my wedding to look like a hot set where everything is immobile and off limits. I want my wedding to be livable, goddamn it. I want snapshots and organic moments, not staged first looks. Luckily my intended wants his wedding to be like that too. So… how to do it?

I’m not crafty and I hate the idea of DIY (because I lack the patience and skill to do most things with my hands) but it appears there is no other way to get what I want. So I’m starting small.

I haven’t seen any invitations that are personal enough and a reflection of us. As I sat here thinking about why that is my eyes crossed the box of stationery and letters that need mailing or responding to and it hit me. I love writing letters. I write Cyrus regular letters. What could be better than writing to our dearest friends and family asking them to join us? Nothing.

Now we just need to figure out where we’re doing it…

(He’s already vetoed the courthouse, which was my first choice.)

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. Yenny permalink
    July 31, 2012 8:43 pm

    Can I come?

    • Clementine permalink*
      August 2, 2012 2:20 am

      But of course. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Bonnie Davis permalink
    July 31, 2012 10:49 pm

    Yay Cyrus! No to the courthouse! You want “artfully tossed burlap”? Grandaddy’s prpobay got burlap in his storage room. You and Cyrus can artfully toss it. This is an opportunity to begin to discover who you are and who Cyrus is and what audience you are playing to —or to find out if you can find and be yourselves and invite the rest of us into that space. I sincerely hope you find the Clementine and Cyrus space that all of us who love you are hoping for. Martha Stewart and the artfully tossed burlap crowd can plan their own weddings and their own lives.

    • Clementine permalink*
      August 2, 2012 2:20 am

      I love you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. 50fembots permalink
    July 31, 2012 10:59 pm

    I want to come. I won’t eat anything. Promise.

  4. Theresa permalink
    July 31, 2012 11:02 pm

    My husband and got engaged when serving in the US Army. The invitations were actually an announcement at the final formation the day before the wedding. My husband raised his hand to announce “Theresa and I are getting married tomorrow at the base chapel at 4:30 if anyone wants to come”. A SGT in the unit offered up his housing for a reception. I went to a local dept store and had a sales girl find a whitish dress that would fit me. We will be celebrating our 20th in February.

  5. usako permalink
    August 2, 2012 10:57 pm

    oo U are not gay anymore nice ๐Ÿ™‚ I know U from L word (I mean I saw U first time on tv in that tv show ) and I like Molly so much! BTW ppl here are unlike U because U are straight again? So wierd things in USA happened .Congrat the wedding ๐Ÿ™‚ I left the comment because I have a holiday and I am bored so I read all your blog notes :D( I like it). ( sorry for my english I from Poland and I don’t know this language so good. I understand but I colund’t write any corect sentences ๐Ÿ˜ฆ )

  6. Reality Check permalink
    August 3, 2012 6:56 pm

    Why bother having a blog and enabling comments if you’re just going to remove comments you don’t like? I wasn’t abusive to you, I just stated a fact, that most bisexual women end up with men. And?

    • Clementine permalink*
      August 3, 2012 7:48 pm

      I was actually going to write about that. If you look at past posts you will see that I approved every single comment, both positive and negative. I chose to delete our earlier exchange because I didn’t see any larger conversation coming from it, especially since you feel I am “not worth the effort” of a thoughtful, intelligent comment. You are correct, you weren’t abusive, but you were snarky, off topic, and a bit nasty. See aforementioned quotation.

  7. missgarbo permalink
    August 6, 2012 7:40 pm

    No offense but I must admit that the new post of your blog was not to my liking and it was pretty boring too. Im not saying that because the fiance in question is a man, but because i think weddings are not something cool unless they are for necessary or bureaucratic issues.
    on the other side, id like to add that i enjoyed even less some comments who indirectly mock and attack someone else for the simple fact she is going to marry a man.
    We, gay people, are fighting and asking for respect since ages. Thus, I think this kind of sarcastic comments are totally innapropriate. We must show respect too.
    I am not defending anyone, simply saying that i disagree with bad comments to clementine as well as I disagree with some martyrs comments of you clementine where it seems that you are only receiving insults and contempt. Because I think there are a lot of people supporting you on internet.
    So now, everyone should decide what he or she likes to read.

    • Clementine permalink*
      August 7, 2012 6:07 pm

      No offense taken. Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

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