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Maybe I’ll Just be Here Today

April 25, 2014
tags: ,

Today’s “accomplishments”:
1 baby bathed
2 loads of laundry (neither folded, nor put away)
1 mama fed
1 nap taken
1 walk (grand total of 20 minutes)

I have a friend whose baby was born the day before Elijah. She is back at regular life with a vengeance, working, running classes and groups, while doing all things baby. I’m in awe of her.

I’m also in awe of those women who are back to their pre-baby weights after 6 weeks. (I get that most of those women have nannies, trainers, chefs and/or fancy food delivery, but they still have to do the work.)

Then there’s me. See above. I’m lucky if I brush my teeth. Oh! And my house? It’s a disaster.

I’m overwhelmed by all the things and ways I should be. I want to be both of the above, but to be one (in my business anyway) I have to be the other and I can’t afford all those parentheticals. Even if I could I’m not sure I’d be quite ready for them. It’s been one month. I don’t want to leave my son. I haven’t reached the point of needing more of a break than Cyrus watching him so I can sleep a couple of uninterrupted hours. Am I lacking something? Drive? Focus?

I suspect that my instinct to be where I am happiest and most settled right now- with my son- is a good one to follow. Maybe It’s okay to focus only on him? Maybe that is the lesson? To follow my instinct? It’s certainly something I’ve been trying to learn for a very long time…

P.S. It took me an entire day to write this and no, I didn’t bother re-reading it. I’ve left it in all it’s rambling glory.

Here’s a late night picture just because:


6 Comments leave one →
  1. Kim permalink
    April 25, 2014 1:20 pm

    Just enjoy the time you spend with your son,don’t worry about the house and just follow your instincts.

  2. April 25, 2014 1:27 pm

    Enjoy every moment with him that you can. Don’t worry about the house, the laundry or how long you have walked. Cherish these moments because they go too quickly. Everything else can wait….if you are all happy, isn’t that what matters most? Don’t worry about what anyone else says or what they might be thinking – no one agrees with everything. Do what is right for you! Your son is blessed to have a mum like you….

  3. April 25, 2014 2:09 pm

    You are right; follow your instincts. You and your baby will both be fine. One thing a baby teaches you, but fast, is how much stuff that we think is important…isn’t. xoxo!

  4. April 26, 2014 12:48 am

    No one understands the importance of the bond between mother and son more than me. Be with your baby boy, and soak in every second. These “endless days” will feel like the blink of an eye before you know it. You are doing exactly what your instincts are commanding. Don’t worry, you’ll find the pace of life again when you’re ready. As always, thank you for sharing this unfiltered honesty and open-hearted sincerity with your readers.

  5. April 30, 2014 4:42 am

    You forgot a MAJOR accomplishment: you kept a vulnerable, small person alive, safe and loved. Is there anything more important? I live in a country where 1 year of maternity leave is normal; you have to give notice if you want to come back earlier. Be with your boy and love him. This time is precious and you won’t get it back again!

  6. May 18, 2014 9:17 pm

    I live in Canada where we get one year of maternity leave.

    My advice, don’t worry about what isn’t done. You never get back these baby years. Trust me. My oldest is 8 and youngest is 4. Just enjoy those baby snuggles.

    The house will remain standing and the work will always be there. Break up tasks throughout the week and that way they won’t seem so overwhelming.

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