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Yep, I’m really posting my weight on the internet

May 9, 2014

174. 1. 7. 4.

That was my weight as of Monday’s doctor appointment. That is also 4 pounds more than my highest non-pregnancy related weight.

Somehow I do not feel the need to jump off the tallest building I can find. Nor do I think it’s time to starve myself (followed by a binge, of course). I’m really okay with it, maybe because there is a legitimate reason and if I could lose it when there was no reason, then I can lose it now. Or in the future. Whenever.

What this has done is spur me to examine my relationship with food on this side of motherhood. I’m exclusively breast feeding, which changes things. My natural focus is always and unconsciously on calories. In versus out. The end. But that won’t work here. I’m creating food for another human being. To grow another human being. Someone recently reminded me where all those vitamins and nutrients have to come from. Duh. (I know, forgive my stupidity.) So I’ve made a more conscious effort to push calories out of my mind and focus instead on the quality of the food that I’m eating. I read somewhere recently that 80/20 is a good way to do that without making yourself crazy. Can’t hurt, right?

All that said, I just ate far too many jelly beans… I guess that was my 20%.

Here are a couple of pictures, then and now. I had to do a google image search to find these. I don’t recommend it. Note: When I did my own hair I parted it on the wrong side. Also note: it’s the exact same dress.

Then: 170. I felt sexier than ever that night. Not so much any other time. (I really miss that hair!)

Then: 170. I felt sexier than ever that night. Not so much any other time. (I really miss that hair!)

Now: 174. Sexy is not a word I'd use, but I think a little has to do with having done my own hair. And it's all natural color.

Now: 174. Sexy is not a word I’d use, but I think a little has to do with having done my own hair. And it’s all natural color.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 9, 2014 1:04 pm

    Breast feeding is the best way to protect your baby and give him a good immune system – regardless of this, you look stunning!

  2. Jen permalink
    May 10, 2014 9:53 pm

    You look fantastic, don’t let it get you down. That body made a life! I gained 75 pounds with my second and suffered from depression, so I get it. Just wanted to encourage you to keep a positive perspective. Congrats to you and your family.

  3. CatBaz permalink
    May 11, 2014 4:27 am

    Thank you for being so real about your weight loss struggles and insecurities. And your blog. Love it! I have devoured it over the past 2 says. I feel like you have stepped into my mind and are expressing thoughts I haven’t quite gotten out. Wishing you a healthy, happy baby and a few hours of uninterrupted sleep! Can’t wait to read what’s next.

  4. May 13, 2014 1:30 pm

    I love your honesty, and your sanity.

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