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Will Food Ever Just Be Food?

June 25, 2014

I meant to do a post today about the amazing lactation bars I’ve been making, but they’re not so amazing. Probably because I burned them. Maybe because I used Blackstrap instead of regular molasses. I mean, they aren’t disgusting, but they’re not anything you’d want to share with friends. Or pets. Or someone you hate.

I can’t decide whether to keep trying because I’m afraid I’ve started eating them just because they’re there. Especially since I know that the tea works for me, I don’t need to eat them every day. But I do.

This is a sketchy place for me because, historically, my relationship with food has been… complicated. I read once about a guy who lost a bunch of weight by eating whatever he wanted with one rule- if he wanted junk, he had to make it. That would never work for me. I went on a zuccini/pumpkin bread kick and who do you think ate it all within three days? I’m even worried about the three pounds of dates in my fridge. I could eat my weight in soup at one sitting. You picking up what I’m putting down?

I know I said I wasn’t going to worry about it and that I would just focus on what is good and nourishing, but it’s not been easy. I know I’m not losing weight. I feel bad about it and then I overdo it and nothing in excess is nourishing.

I think I’ll take a break. No more baking. Simple foods, as mindfully eaten as possible with a baby. At least for tomorrow. One day at a time can work here, right?

I was pregnant here, but it still feels appropriate.

I was pregnant here, but it still feels appropriate.

 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 25, 2014 9:42 am

    Thank you for sharing your joys, struggles and encouragement! I’ve had a similar love/hate relationship with food my whole life too. Your baby is the CUTEST! 🙂

    • Clementine permalink*
      July 1, 2014 9:06 pm

      This means a lot to me. Thank you. :))

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