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This is Day Two

September 15, 2016

This is a photo from day one. Don’t be jealous of my airbrushing skillz.

My daughter is two days old. It’s our first full day at home with her.

We’re transitioning from three to four, from being parents of one to two, and from being the only to the oldest. It’s hard. Transitions have always been hard for me so you can imagine what a bucket of hormones adds to the mix.

This afternoon I was feeling a sadness fueled by guilt and holding to what was. I worried about Eli and the shifts that are taking place. I worried about Welles and that she’s not getting the same kind of attention and attachment that he got.

But I know that, in some ways she’s getting more than he got. She has a brother who loves her and parents with enough experience to take a breath before googling. (And enough sense to know that sometimes it’s okay to put her down if it’s what’s best for everyone.)

With that I got myself up, took off our clothes, and wrapped her up close. I nursed her and drank my current favorite tea. (Red raspberry leaf, in case you’re wondering. It’s delicious.) And it’s all okay. Better than okay. I know that could change in the next second, and that’s okay, too.


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