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September 20, 2016


I’m so tired. I feel like I stayed up all night drinking and smoking. My throat is even a bit scratchy. But I can’t take a nap, as much as I want to, because it’s just so nice right here.

I nursed my babies to sleep at the same time and now they’re both on either arm breathing sleepy breath.

I see Eli struggling to adjust. His hasn’t manifested in anything too outwardly challenging, but as his mom I can see the toll. He’s tired a lot of the time. He’s a little stumbly. I think this time together helps that. He even requests that baby Welles come to bed with us. Today he reached out and put his hand on her shoulder across my chest. It was pretty magical.

But it’s not just for him. I need this, too. The familiar weight and heat of his little body next to mine grounds me in the midst of all this newness.

Transitions are hard.

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