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What no one tells you

September 23, 2016
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Random labor picture fully unrelated to this post.

There are loads of lists and posts and essays and articles titled ” what no one tells you about becoming a parent”, but I have yet to see the biggest one that I most relate to:

Loneliness.

I’ve seen isolation, with the advice to get out of the house for a walk or call a friend, but this loneliness I’m talking about is different. It’s the 3am feeding and diaper change while your partner and older child sleep soundly. It’s them going out to work in the yard and being stuck on the couch because it’s too sunny or hot for a 1 week old. (And her mother who has heat sensitivity issues.) It’s not wanting to complain because you know how fleeting and sweet this time of baby breath, sour milk, and discovery is. And then it passes. Because it is so special. You look down at your baby with her little noises, her tiny mouth, and her brother’s eyelashes and you think of your friends who are in it, right now, with you. You yawn in solidarity knowing that one or maybe even all of them are awake, too.

And then an hour later, it begins again.

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