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I haven’t posted in days. 

September 27, 2016

I got stumped. 

Sunday was (would have been?) my step mom’s birthday. She died in July. I wanted to write something but nothing felt right. Something about death and birth and the greater meaning. Instead I ditched the blog, didn’t call or text my dad, sisters, or aunts, and focused on my own little bubble*, which, though it sounds nice with a new baby, isn’t very good for me. 

I need to get out and move and reach out to people. My downfall is isolation. I disappear from myself and that makes me no good to anyone. 

I may need to start pumping, just so I can go to the gym. But I’m terrified of nipple confusion. She’s two weeks old today and I’ve heard that bottles should wait until at least three weeks. Is it worth it? Is it cheating? Will she suffer? Am I crazy?

One Comment leave one →
  1. Juli permalink
    September 27, 2016 11:15 am

    I used to fret with the first one, and even with the second one (but a bit less, thankfully), that every little thing I did might unwittingly turn them into an axe murderer. The truth is, babies are remarkably resilient little things. Do what seems right to you. It’ll probably turn out right for her, too. And if it doesn’t, then back up, try something different, and move on. There’s not a right or wrong here. Just different paths through the meadow. You’re doing fine. xo

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